So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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