in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
