I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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