tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
