He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
