You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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