I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
