We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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