Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize