Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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