the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
