i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
