I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.