I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.