it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...