Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
We don't watch enough power rangers
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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