He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
