did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
