Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize