We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
