Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
