I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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