well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
