Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
