Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
