im drinking this country out of the recession.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
We are all done wearing pants today
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
