Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
