at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
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