She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
