Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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