All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
