so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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