so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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