I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
