So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
