and you said cock pushups were impossible
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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