Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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