Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
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