so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
