It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
