Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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