Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
