I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize