So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
