I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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