do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
