i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
