Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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