I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
