Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
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I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
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He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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