thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
