how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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