you guys were way drunker than both of me
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
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