Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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