Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
