Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
