At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
