His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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