So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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