Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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